Abandoned Forum

[princess]

So, sometimes, it can be a real hassle to obtain your 'alternative meat'.
It's practically impossible to buy it anywhere, and hunting it can be very difficult in today's society.
Does anyone know of any fast and easy and safe ways to obtain it?
Where do you usally hunt for your prey?

[Pimienta]

Alternative meats

[princess]

'alternative'.

alternative to the usual kinds...possibly taboo to eat this...

[hamster]

Endangered species?
That's a naughty no-no.

But for legal stuff, all you have to do is go to http://www.exoticmeats.com. Be prepared to shell out lots of cash, though.

[hamster]

I see now from your other posts that you are a vegetarian. So if you went to the site I suggested, you probably threw up.

Obviously, you meant "fake" meats, tofu and textured vegetable protein and such.

I have no idea where you'd get that kind of stuff.

[princess]

no, no! Not endangered animals! the poor little things...

but this delicious food is so forbidden i fear that mentioning it will get the thread locked and me in trouble.
But i know we all eat it, it's just that nobody likes to admit to it for fear of persecution, right?
you can produce your own, and everyone wants them at some point in their life, usualy they just have two or three, but we all know they actualy had more and at all the rest, right?

[hamster]

Please tell me you're not talking about accretions of nasal mucus.

[princess]

if you boil those up, you can make a fantastic sauce for use in pies.

[hamster]

Please tell me you don't work in a pie shop.
The news gets worse and worse.

[nil]

Around here, they have lots of none-meaty stuff that looks very much like really meaty stuff. I eat them everyday but they are not very healthy. They are made of starch and other who knows what. It maybe better to eat things that don't look like meat.

[Pimienta]

my goodness
hunting this taboo meat is the most evil thing I've heard
you ought to be ashamed

good job on the cleverness of your talking about such a meat

[Mysti]

this thread is confusing me somewhat.

[hamster]

That was the secret intention, Mysti ... to distract you so that the earthworms could sneak past your dangerous feet and safely rendezvous with the penguins, to finalize their plans for world domination.

Now that I have let the secret out, my life is in danger. But I should be all right if I disguise myself inside a giant block of tofu and hide under a bridge.

[princess]

If i could just obtain a regular supply of this stuff, I think i'd like to open a pie shop.
who will come and eat my pies if i do? anyone?

[Pimienta]

mayhaps you could induce the help of someone like sweeny todd