Abandoned Forum

[Pimienta]

This isn't a story yet. It is a very bare, unfinished outline which is very shaky and not quite what I want. It also contains a few musings of mine.

I sat in my window staring out. Always staring out. Beyond the glass is the “real” world. People hurrying by. That is the world. They are too busy to see the old woman mourning the loss of her husband. They are too busy to see the cat who will lose all her kittens before the end of the week. They don’t even notice the small boy who is taking little trinkets from them. Trinkets that people will be too busy to notice they are missing. They don’t notice the garbage on the ground or the smoke in the air. They are only concerned for their business. If they don’t notice the obvious how will they ever see the subtle beauties in life? I ponder silently. So many things are being devoured by this fast paced life: love, laughter, joy, sadness, and hate. It is worse than the deepest hatred, it is cold indifference. <a clip written in boredom>

<A cynical recluse discovers a new joy in people. Man vs. self & man vs. society (or a perceived society)>

<Protagonist> an ex-writer became a recluse after seeing the indifference through everybody’s façade. Has lived without contact with the world for over 3 years. Everything is brought to her door and left on the step.
She lives in an apartment in New York which over looks a busy street. She sits in her window all day pondering the different mysteries in life.

<Other characters>
Orphan boy from the street- old widow from the street- crazy pigeon guy from the street- mother cat from the street- door man who is hired to bring everything to the door of the writer- writers sister in Brazil- writers brother in France- a successful business man who once read the writers best seller before she became a recluse- a not so successful business man who sells books- the watch repairman from down the street- the old man from the next door apartment- that is it for now.

<A simple time line and motivation>

Action #1 staring out the window. Motivation- a need to connect to the people that the protagonist has lost faith in. (also a great way to introduce a setting)

Action #2 speaking to the door man. Motivation- a feeling of sorrow over the boys existence.

Action #3 Sending the doorman to the watch repairman. Motivation- to reach out to the boy with a glimmer of hope for the world. Yet still remain reclusive.

Action #4 Hiring the boy. Motivation- a want for interaction. And a need to find out if there is hope or the world.

Action #5 writing. Motivation- a need to release feelings because it is very bad for people to bottle feelings. (also provides insight into the protagonists thoughts and motivation)

Action #6 sending for the cat. Motivation- a pet for the boy and a deep love for cats. An ancient love.

Action #7 more typing

Action #8 the boy returns with the cat.

* no struggles= problem*

<new set up. Set up struggles for each character. Make an Omni present story line. Jump from person to person. Don’t get inside their heads except through things they do. That means no saying I think I thought in fact make it third person. Pepper moved slowly from the side walk.>

<change main character. She was born into wealth. Her parents were snobby people who were also born into wealth. Their wealth is founded on a century old steel company.>

so what are people's thoughts on this as a very bar, shaky, unfinished outline?

[TheCountess]

i like the story idea and setup. May i suggest you keep it from the point of the view of the main character? Then as she becomes less reclusive, she can connect with the individuals struggles. This would make the story more personal, so the reader doesn't always feel outside-looking-in.

[Pimienta]

thank you for your advice. I was trying to decide which would be best.