The Eightfold Path of the Giant Octopus

Put a thousand monkeys in a room and you get the work of Shakespeare. Put a thousand mentally inspired members in a forum, and you can figure out any truth, even the meaning of life.

Moderator: Hatter Police

The Eightfold Path of the Giant Octopus

Postby nil on Mon Jul 21, 2008 4:55 am

I recently discovered the Giant Octopus is the way to the Truth. Do you know that the Giant Octopus is the most intelligent sea creature? They have short and long term memory and are good at solving maze. They have been worshiped extensively in the ancient Atlantis (before it sank). According to the Atlantians, the eight arms of the octopus is a metaphor for the Eightfold Path of Life.

1 Right Snack - the total mass of your snack shall always be less than the total mass of your guilt tolerance.
2 Right Dessert - every meal shall end with a dessert. just like every life should have a happy ending. you shall not forget to eat dessert before you leave the present life.

3 Right Games - you shall not play games when you are sleeping or eating, but feel free to spend the rest of your time shooting monsters and marrying sims.
4 Right Work- you shall work when your boss is looking at you

5 Right judgment - you shall not judge people who is bigger than you and can dunk you in a trash can.
6 Right speech - you shall not speak anything bad about the kind of people in #5

7 Right Wisdom - don't be stupid
8 Right Attitude - if you are stupid, don't admit it.

So this is the Eightfold Path of the Giant Octopus. I hope it will enrich your life as it had enriched mine. If not, try the octopus sushi in your local sushi house, they are good.
...
nil
Hatmaster
Hatmaster
 
Posts: 1305
Joined: Tue Mar 29, 2005 6:34 am
Location: Canada

Re: The Eightfold Path of the Giant Octopus

Postby Pimienta on Mon Jul 21, 2008 5:07 pm

wow it is almost equal to the wisdom of the blue sock
User avatar
Pimienta
Pretty Inspired Hatter
Pretty Inspired Hatter
 
Posts: 2785
Joined: Thu Apr 21, 2005 9:13 pm
Location: who's asking

Re: The Eightfold Path of the Giant Octopus

Postby Bomadeno on Thu Jul 24, 2008 6:42 pm

Its not quite on topic, tub maybe you can guide me somewhat, apprentice nil of the octopus. Or anyone really. We have some sushi places around here- tub I have no real idea what to do with them. I've never stepped in, but i do want to... what should I do upon entry? I know there's a belt, and it ahs coloured plates of different values, with different foods on - but what should I try? How can i even tell what I'm eating?

Oh, and in accordance with rule 8 I do know all of the things I just asked and am asking on behalf of a friend. Called Bomademoo.
User avatar
Bomadeno
Utterly Inspired Hatter
Utterly Inspired Hatter
 
Posts: 3123
Joined: Fri Apr 08, 2005 9:53 pm
Location: Somewhere in England (not on, in)

Re: The Eightfold Path of the Giant Octopus

Postby nil on Wed Jul 30, 2008 9:05 am

This Youtube video is the best tutorial on mastering the art of sushi eating:


I think most people have seen it before. But since your friend asked this question, he/she might not have the fortune of seeing it before. I hope it helps.

O... almost forgot, you know, most of the chiefs in the sushi place are armed with a sharp knife, so it maybe wise for you/your friend to bring your own "Kill Bill" sword, just in case you need to settle dispute with the chief.
...
nil
Hatmaster
Hatmaster
 
Posts: 1305
Joined: Tue Mar 29, 2005 6:34 am
Location: Canada

Re: The Eightfold Path of the Giant Octopus

Postby hamster on Thu Jul 31, 2008 6:49 pm

Octopi are indeed amazing creatures: the pinnacle of mollusk evolution. Perhaps after we hairy primates have finally wiped each other out, octopi will rule the world, at least the underwater part of it, if something of a world remains.
User avatar
hamster
Insane Hatter
Insane Hatter
 
Posts: 867
Joined: Mon Aug 08, 2005 7:24 pm
Location: Eastern US

Re: The Eightfold Path of the Giant Octopus

Postby Bomadeno on Sat Aug 02, 2008 8:28 pm

That was most informative. I'll use it in its entirety when I get a chance to do so. The amount of soy sauce and salt made me feel slightly queasy though, so I'll go slightly lighter there.

Will octopi be able to rule the land? I imagine it's the only thing stopping them from taking over the world, and I bet they're cursing evolution.
User avatar
Bomadeno
Utterly Inspired Hatter
Utterly Inspired Hatter
 
Posts: 3123
Joined: Fri Apr 08, 2005 9:53 pm
Location: Somewhere in England (not on, in)

Re: The Eightfold Path of the Giant Octopus

Postby nil on Thu Aug 14, 2008 8:39 am

Octopus are indeed very clever, more clever than our average apey. They know how to solve maze! How many of you can solve a maze?

They would have evolved into some eight legged land walking creatures and rule over our kins -- if they had not been so tasty and became the favorite food of so many sea creatures...

So one thing about evolution is you should not evolve into something tasty. I think one advantage of apes over cows is apes are not as tasty as cows.
...
nil
Hatmaster
Hatmaster
 
Posts: 1305
Joined: Tue Mar 29, 2005 6:34 am
Location: Canada

Re: The Eightfold Path of the Giant Octopus

Postby Bomadeno on Thu Aug 14, 2008 1:37 pm

Indeed... if someone hasn't done a study with that theory, I think they should. I suppose the ultimate evolutionary flaw is to make yourself tasty to your own kind, and induce cannibalism. At least the octopi weren't foolish enough to go down that road.

Mice and computers can solve mazes, but I've never met a human who can solve one... we are indeed inferior in all ways to the animals around us.
User avatar
Bomadeno
Utterly Inspired Hatter
Utterly Inspired Hatter
 
Posts: 3123
Joined: Fri Apr 08, 2005 9:53 pm
Location: Somewhere in England (not on, in)

Re: The Eightfold Path of the Giant Octopus

Postby Pimienta on Thu Aug 14, 2008 6:19 pm

yes it is quite hard to solve a maze without seeing it from a birds eye view
User avatar
Pimienta
Pretty Inspired Hatter
Pretty Inspired Hatter
 
Posts: 2785
Joined: Thu Apr 21, 2005 9:13 pm
Location: who's asking


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests