Abandoned Forum

[nowhere man]

I am a loser. I tend to get " picked on" , "teased" or "taunted untill suicide becomes a conseridation of of a way to solve the problem", whatever you want to call it. Now what is your guys looks on bullys? A question that enters my mind is fighting back, is it right or wrong.
Today when i was on the bus the same poerson who often messes with me, was hitting me on the head with a pop bottle. I turned around and he and his friend laughed. I tired to ignore, but after about 2 minutes of it i grabbed my trapper keeper and beat him continuasly over the head with it. Everyone laughed and he kept doing it. Soon i turned around and asked why he was hitting me, he said it was to ( excuse my language im only using quotes and i feel its appropiate to show what he actualy said) "Piss you off"
I told him to stop and he didnt. Thats about it, then i got off the bus. Thats the kind of thing i deal with regualry and it gives me angry thought at everyone on my bus.
So discuss this kind of thing and bullsys in general. What should be done when your picked on? why do people do it? Thanks for listening i just had to vent.

[Math_nerd]

One thing I have done in the past in such situations is talk to my parents. I can see how in some surcustances this is impractical, but you can also talk to the bus driver, A teacher you like, and if it is really a huge problem the Asisstant Principle. Another way you can keep this from happening is to make it so that is impossable to do what they are doing to you. Anything at this stage anything that gets them off yoiu back will work.

suicide is never the answer. If you are fealling suicidel, the best thing (I know that this souds corney, but it is best, Trust me, I come from the same place you are comeing from) is to talk to an adult you can trust about it so that they can get you help.

Hope this is helpful.......

[nowhere man]

since what there doing is hitting me on the head with bottles, perhaps i should wear a bycicle helmet

[princess]

Fight back, says I. I don't agree with starting fights, but i tink fighting back is a totally different matter. If you can find something to do back which will be more unlpleasant to them than annoying you in the first place is pleasant to them, they will realise its a bad idea. Try urinating in a bottle and carrying it with you so that when you get hit with a bottle again you can pour your urine over the offender.
Or for example i once had a bully always saying i walked like i had something up my rectum. I waited until he said it in class, and loudly asked him why he was so obbsessed with rectums, and if there was something he wasn't telling us. The entire class including the teacher laughed their heads off and shook my hand. I was never bothered again by anyone. Do something to that kind of effect. It would probably also decrease the non-cool status you probably have if you're getting picked on as such.

[nil]

Well I used to be like that too, the loser, the schmo, the failure... Now look what I have become... I've.... I've... OK, maybe I'm not the best example.

I don't agree on fighting back, unless you are skilled in martial art or possess weapons of mass destruction. Fighting is a no no idea.

I do agree on Princess's second point though. The trick is called short-circuit. That means to behave in a way opposite to their expectation.

Kids like to pick on people. They are not bad. They just like free entertainment. What can be more entertaining than picking on someone that's more unfortunate than you?

When they do such things to you, they expect you to be a) angry, b) keep silent, c) cry. So don't do any of these. Surprise them. You don't have to take control by force. You can take control by using your voice alone. You can control people by simply asking questions. Doesn't matter how hostile they are, if your question is totally unexpected, it will throw them off. You also need to work on the delivery. It takes some skill of acting. For example, you can suddenly stand up, make a loud noise by throwing your books on the floor and look them really close in the eyes, (so they are expecting a fight) and ask them in a flat voice, "Answer me -- why do you hate the bottle so much that you have to bang it on my head?" It will either make you the most popular kid or...... something you probably don't want to know...


We have long evolved against the age of force. Now is the age of mind. Be creative, be cool. You don't have to win by humiliating the others. You can win by making new friends, by blending in.

[princess]

i didn't mean fight back as in attack them physically...once again i have failed to say what i mean... Though if you are attacked physically i think it's best to give them a nice beating, provided you know you'll win. I like some of Nil's ideas, but humiliating them is always the funnest way to go, i think!

[nowhere man]

Or for example i once had a bully always saying i walked like i had something up my rectum. I waited until he said it in class, and loudly asked him why he was so obbsessed with rectums, and if there was something he wasn't telling us. The entire class including the teacher laughed their heads off and shook my hand. I was never bothered again by anyone. Do something to that kind of effect. It would probably also decrease the non-cool status you probably have if you're getting picked on as such.

WEll i have of course tried somthing to the effect, but this person has every one else on his side. I once asked him nicly why he was pulling my hair and his responce was that he was going to clone me and rape the clone. Now what are you supode to say to that? if i said that i weould be made fun of till no end. See what im dealing with. I no longer have to deal with it and i wont for another 3 months

[Bomadeno]

REally. REally. REally Annoy them.

The best way to annoy them is to either:

Ignore them.
Or laugh hysterically in their face to this effect: 'Muahahahaha'

People might think you're insane, tub oh well, I don't mind that, it's who I am.


Another thing is to undermine their presence when they aren't there. For example talk with other people about 'what an idiot he is' and if you are good, they will agree. Be strong in your persuasion, and start of with the weaker minions, then in a group of people who agree get the message to others that the 'boss of the bullys' is in fact just a sad deprived attention seeker, and pity them. Pity is never what a bully expects. And never be mean to them. If they say they are only doing it to 'piss you off' then tell them they would be more effective if they just beat you with a book. Be outrageous! Ask for it! Or alternatively ignore them...

Tub ignoring is an art. You can't hunch your shoulders, you ahve to stay calm, keep your breathing right, and actually believe they aren't there. If somone points them out you have to be honestly surprised.


Thats my mumbled two cents. Pick out as much as you need to make sense and rearrange it and it *might* work.

[nowhere man]

makes sence. But i didnt create this thread to get advice, i created it to simply discuss bullys, and that there just picking on you to cover up for there fear of lonliness, i supose that makes sence in some sick twisted way.....

[princess]

I think they often do it to reaffirm their own feelings of being 'cool' 'popular' and or 'acceptile' by making an example of what they think is not. It is very immature and shows that they are somewhat insecure and not good people.

[nowhere man]

Indeed. Wich brings up a question. When being bullied if you were to say somthing in self defence (I.E princesses rectum remark) or act violently (I.E my use of my binder) wouldnt that be just as bad as what there doing? I agree that ignoreing the bully is the RIGHT thing to do, but not the most effective.

[Pimienta]

I don't really get messed w/by bullies cause most of them know my older sisters and if my older sisters are scared to mess w/me then they won't mess w/me either

that doesn't really help you though

You say you are a loner but if you get one or two friends
it helps even if they can't help w/getting rid of the bullies

if someone was doing something just to make me mad
I would smile @ them w/a genuine smile and ask them how their day has been

[Insanity test]

Thats a good tactic. Like Nil said, throw them, do something unexpected. I generally took pity on mine and in the end all they could come up with was 'hes always so superior' Which i actually take as quite a compliment.

Once when I was forced into a group with one of them, i asked in an 'oh god isn't he an idiot' voice where he was without realising he was right behind me. When this was pointed out, I turned round to him quickily and immediatly asked him a complicated question in as friendly voice as I could manage. He was completly lost and mumbled something i cant remember. I dont think he gave me much major trouble again. I think he realised we weren't all in mortal fear of him.

[princess]

i really don't think there's anything wrong with saying/doing nasty things to bullies when it's just fighting back if they're attacking you in some way. for example if some country attacked your country your country would go to war with it, killing their soldiers and blowing them up and such, and nobody would whine about that, they'd just wish there was no need for it. I think the best strategy to put a stop to the bullying would be a combination of everything everyone's suggested...then the bully would never no what to expect except that it wont be the desired reaction, and pretty soon they'l move on to some other unfortunate soul.

[Insanity test]

Most bullies are narcissists (think that they are actually better than everyone else) or are the complete opposite - they have an inferiority complex and feel the need to constantly and agressivly prove otherwise.

They dish it out but if you even look at them, they act as if you just slapped them.