Abandoned Forum

[PaullyPokketz]

Hey everyone, I'm new here on this forum. My name's ****, and I'm 14. I'm aspiring to become an author, and I just finished work on my first novel. I'm seeking literary agents at the present time to publish my work.

Yeah, that's pretty much my fantastic life. Oh, and I've lived in like a billion places, too. I'm currently in Panama.

But that's not why I posted here. I posted so I could show you guys my work.
This first piece is my working intro to a short story I'm writing. If I get some positive feedback, and interest, I might post the rest.

But that all depends. Here it goes:

So here I am, walking down 1st Ave, in the blistering cold, all alone in the middle of the night. And if that’s not bad enough, I’ve got no shirt on. It was cold enough already with a shirt, but now I’m half nude, and all I’ve got left is my thoughts to keep me warm. I contemplate the things I’ve thought of today, how they affect me in my everyday life. People think that the slightest judgment or good deed won’t do anything to them, it won’t change the master plan set out for them. I know after today that every thought that crosses your mind, and every sign of affection you may give, is all a part of something much bigger, something no one understands. Every time we judge someone lesser than us, we stab our hearts. Every time we are selfless, we provide ourselves with the remedy necessary to heal those wounds. Ultimately, you’re thoughts decide your path in this world, and who lies ahead of it. The rational question in the whole mix is: Who is your worst enemy on this path to righteousness? Well, yourself, of course…
But that’s the moral; just the gist of it. The real story behind my first steps to self discovery, and making a change, starts right now…[/i]

[Bomadeno]

Thats really good! Please post the rest of it! I especially like the description.

Also, just to mention that names shouldn't be mentioned online, that's why I've starred yours
Its sad it has to be this way, tub it is That's society for you.

You write very well for someone who's 14

[PaullyPokketz]

Thank you very much Bomadeno for your kind comments! It really inspires me to keep writing when people like you post such wonderful encouragements. I'm still working on a few rough edges with the rest of it, but as soon as I think it's ready for the public, I will post it here.

Let me warn you though, I don't think it'll be perfect, so don't expect a masterpiece just yet.

About the name, yeah, it sucks that it has to be that way, but I don't really see how it would be a problem in my case; I don't think many people would do much with my name, considering my location. I don't even have an address!

[trumpetprodigy]

Good story, so far.
How do you not have an adress? Does Panama not use adresses?

[PaullyPokketz]

Well, usually directions are given by landmarks and such, and only some places have street names, but where I am, they don't name the street, so unless you've lived here for a long time, or you're native to Panama, there would be no way to find me.

Which kind of sucks in a way too, I can't even order from amazon. See, their commercials are false, they can't ship anywhere.

[Pimienta]

for not being able to order from amazon

three cheers for the story
I can't wait for the rest

[Insanity test]

Great Intro.

Grabbs the attention with the whole random (apparantly, but is it?) abscence of shirt.
You obviously have natrual talent and should make the most of it. I wish you every success in your publisheing carreer!

[PaullyPokketz]

Great Intro.

Grabbs the attention with the whole random (apparantly, but is it?) abscence of shirt.
You obviously have natrual talent and should make the most of it. I wish you every success in your publisheing carreer!

Thank you very much!

[nil]

Those are very good thoughts. I encourage you to write more. A good writer is someone who can write honestly of what he or she thoughts.

I think the places also help to make good writer, especially if you live somewhere that can't even be reached by Amazon...

[Insanity test]

...oh the very thought...

[Cherokee_girl]

I liked it too!!!

I like to write as well but have finished very few stories/novels and few of those few have actually been typed (1/2 of 2).

[Bomadeno]

Can amazon.com deliver to Amazonia itself? That is a fairly remote area - it would be ironic if they couldn't deliver there.

[PaullyPokketz]

Can amazon.com deliver to Amazonia itself? That is a fairly remote area - it would be ironic if they couldn't deliver there.

That actualyl would be quite ironic, although that's not what it's named after.

[Bomadeno]

Do you know what it is named after?

[GoodGrief]

Ooh, bold intro - diving straight into the meaning of life and stuff. Your audacity as a writer leaves me hanging upside down in a marmalade factory with only some kind of expensive shampoo, a bus timetable, and half a kilo of yesterday evening to help me escape.

Hmm, I think my train of thought collided with something back there, but yes - this story interests me. Do post on.