Abandoned Forum

[black_soul_stealer17]

i'm so happy today!! i just found out this guy i fell in love with loves me back!!!! *happyhappyhappyhappyhappyhappyhappyhappyhappyhappy*

[Pixyboo]

Go Girl!

[hamster]

Wonderful, wonderful, cool news.

[Astarte]

lovely!

[vampress]

excellent for you. Its wonderful to fall in love with someone who loves you back so charish it as much as you can!

[Mysti]

great news! make sure you hold onto it!

[black_soul_stealer17]

i'm tryong to keep in mind how he feels, but he isn't the type to share his feelings that much. *sigh* oh well.

[Astarte]

I've always believed that in a relationship, although it is nice to hear, talk is cheap.

Often a person will tell you how they love you and blah, blah, blah, but this doesn't mean anything if the rest is missing.

So , what could be missing? Isn't "I love you" everything?

No, I would rather have someone who showed me that they cared by treating me in a kind and loving way, by being there when I felt down, by listening to the things I had to say, by wanting to spend time with me and by making me feel special.

Talking is easy, it's the doing that shows you how someone really feels.

[black_soul_stealer17]

yes that's true, but it's difficult with david and I. . .he lives in Wales. . .

[Astarte]

yes that's true, but it's difficult with david and I. . .he lives in Wales. . .

And you're in Oregon?

Hmmmm..... tricky!

Then, if he writes to you in a kind and loving way, listens to you when you feel down and tries to help with comforting words and ideas, writes longish emails and makes you feel special, then it's still better than "I love you" which might not mean much at all.

And be patient, he might be shy. A lot of boys and men are very shy about talking about the way they feel. (And a lot of girls, too!)

Have a another look through the things he's sent you, you might see that, although he isn't writing the words, they could still be there as plain as day.

[Pixyboo]

Well said Astarte

[Bomadeno]

And be patient, he might be shy. A lot of boys and men are very shy about talking about the way they feel. (And a lot of girls, too!).

How true the latter... In 'my' relationship (our, if i was being right but seeing as you don't know my lovely lovely fiance (woo) i will refer to it as mine), i am the tlaker, generally - meaning i find it easier to open up, even though i'm a brutish male *rawr* while she is quite the opposite.

And I disagreee with this

I've always believed that in a relationship, although it is nice to hear, talk is cheap.

I think talk is very important - more than actions sometimes. The two work best in perfect harmony though - like a card tower! (but not as fragile, its a concrete card tower)

[Astarte]

my lovely lovely fiance (woo)

Woohoo!!!! And many congratulations, boma!! I'm so glad that things worked out for you .

And I disagreee with this

I've always believed that in a relationship, although it is nice to hear, talk is cheap.

I think talk is very important - more than actions sometimes. The two work best in perfect harmony though - like a card tower! (but not as fragile, its a concrete card tower)

No. no. I believe communication is hugely important. And, I agree totally with what you say here.
But, I think you are talking about a loving relationship between two people - I'm talking about a lop-sided relationship.

I'm talking about people who say they love you but, everything they do says very plainly that they don't. People who keep you hanging on with the words "I love you" but treat you in a way that makes you feel small and disappointed, who joke about you in front of their friends, who are not interested in what you say, who turn up late for your birthday because they've been out with mates. It's a long, never-ending list of small slights that in themselves are not overly important but over time can add up to crush your heart. And yet, despite the way these people behave, they say, "But you know that I love you...."

Well, no, actually they don't.

Over the years, I have seen many people trapped in those kind of relationships, feeling very unhappy and frustrated, and confused, because an uncaring, selfish partner uses the the words, "I love you" as a means of holding them.

Love is kind, considerate, nuturing and thoughtful. Love is not repeatedly mean and hurtful and unkind.

That's why I say, although a person might be too shy to say the words, their actions plainly tell you that they do. In this case, when the words come, they will be real and precious.

[Pixyboo]

Communication is the key. whether it be words or deeds!

[black_soul_stealer17]

i think both are important to sustane a relationship thanx for all your help!