Abandoned Forum

[morgan]

I can't sleep at night, so I tried to count sheep. But it seems all the sheep had been counted by other sleepless people. Where can I find more sheep?

[Pimienta]

well I suppose the best person to answer that question would be a shepherd so are there any shepherds lurking on this forum?

[TheCountess]

I haven't seen any lately, however in NZ the spring lambing season has recently finished so I bet there are lots of fresh uncounted lambs floating around somewhere.

[Insanity test]

floating lambs, lol. I apologise, but that' put me in mind of a python quote.

Tourist: Good afternoon.
Shephrd: Eh, 'tis that.
Tourist: You here on holiday?
Shephrd: Nope, I live 'ere.
Tourist: Oh, good for you. Uh...those ARE sheep aren't they?
Shephrd: Yeh.
Tourist: Hmm, thought they were. Only, what are they doing up in the
trees?
Shephrd: A fair question and one that in recent weeks 'as been much on
my mind. It's my considered opinion that they're nestin'.
Tourist: Nesting?
Shephrd: Aye.
Tourist: Like birds?
Shephrd: Exactly. It's my belief that these sheep are laborin' under
the misapprehension that they're birds. Observe their be'avior.
Take for a start the sheeps' tendency to 'op about the field
on their 'ind legs. Now witness their attmpts to fly from
tree to tree. Notice that they do not so much fly as...plummet.

[shamless copy and pasting, I'm afraid]

[TheCountess]

that's wonderful

[princess]

I recently replaced all my sheep with little white pills, due to the sheep being unco-operative and refusing to help me. The little pills are much more helpful. You can have my sheep, if you want, I have lots of them sitting around, serving no purpose... I can only hope they'll be of more use to you than they were to me. Also, they have lice, and fleas, so make sure you don't bring them into your bedroom for counting.

[TheCountess]

I also recommend that when trying to count sheep to get to sleep, you make sure *they* are asleep first. Counting sheep frolicking about is likely to be stressful rather than restful. May I recommend dust bunnies instead? Though if you are fanatical about being clean, this is likely to be just as stressful.

[lifeis42]

count giant fire breathing flying fuzzy dragons insteadf

[Insanity test]

But make sure your duvet is fireproofed first.

[lifeis42]

i definetly recomend counting the dragons i am raiseing a lamb curently and i have to advise that dragons would be much more cooroprotive, easier, and probably safer.

[Pimienta]

of course you don't want big dragons, it takes too much focus

[Bomadeno]

Sleeping at night is... the most annoying thing in existence. First, and importantly - sleep is infact a misnomer, sleep = sheep. This is a fundamental problem in your strategy. The sheep is the sleep, the sleep is the sheep. Also, you don't want to count your average farmyard sheep, you want BIG sheep - think cloud sized. And these sheep need to be content, they need to be fat, and filled with good food, listening to peaceful music, or maybe just nature, as sheep are naturally drowsy creatures.

I have trouble sheeping, sometimes... however sometimes I sheep too well. Its a very tricky situation, what with most people waking at a regular time. I also have pills though... although drowsiness is only a side effect, tis very useful for bedding down at night. Without them, I can easily stay awake without realising till 6am. I tend to rely on them to keep some kind of schedule in my life.